Those Wacky Professors

I just wanted to throw up a few quotes from my teachers. Sometimes I'm afraid the professors are crazier than I am.

" ...and then they figured out how to refine it further into crack...so no one cares about free-basing anymore when you can smoke the stuff."
-Dr. Reigh, Professor of Chemistry

"Approximatelyish"
-Dr. MacDonald, Professor of Mathematics, when asked about the validity of an particular answer.

"Sometimes people do collapse in lab"
-Dr. Thomas, Professor of Chemistry

"You know, the Beatles sounded pretty good with only four guys...imagine what we can do with 28."
-Dr. Hanson, Professor of Music

Brand New Biblical Text Discovered!

I don't know if anyone else has heard about this yet, but I'm here to give the scoop before it gets to the mainstream media.

It is true that a new book of the bible was recently unearthed. It is also true that several scholars spent the past three weeks working day and night to decipher what could possibly be the most important discovery for christianity of the 21st century.

Earlier this week, Pope Benedict announced publicly that the newest addition to the newest of testaments will be printed in every bible starting february 1st.

The new book, apparently written by one of Jesus' most trusted companions, the fish candool, is a trove of new information about the social and religious leader.

Here we find an artist's rendition of one of the most important scenes from the text, which reveals a new insight into the years before Jesus rose to become the messiah. (Click on the photo if you cannot read the dialogue)

Many critics of the validity of the new document point out the fact that fish candool is not mentioned anywhere in the new testament, or for that matter, anywhere in the bible. Therefore a special committee of cardinals has been created to discuss whether this book should form a completely newer testament, entitled, the newer testament. The committe is said to convene some time later this year.

Samples from the Book of fish candool shows the depth and clarity of the language, something which will undoubtedly attract people to the newer testament, which reads as follows:

"...and yea, fish candool said to them, 'Look not at what thy neighbor hast done, rather, at the new boat they had acquired because of it..." fish candool 10:36

"...fish candool not only gave the people warmth, and light, but shone upon them from its burning wick of truth. And it was in this, the second most holy of lights, that the people found their innermost faults displayed in clear relief against the backdrop of the once joyous occasion..." fish candool 36:10

A discovery like this one spans not only over all Christian denominations, but truly, over the entire world. The name of fish candool, shall live forever in the hearts, and minds, of all.

I've just been reading a lot

Blizzard of '07 - Continued

Here's a picture of Ebony and Ivory, the USAO married ducks, standing on our frozen creek.

Really it's more of a crick, but for those of you that don't know the difference, that's just because you don't live around rednecks.








A few USAO students enjoying their day of cancelled classes by sliding on our frozen winter wonderland.

It caved in just minutes later, killing several of those involved.

The Blizzard of '07

Santa, once again back in his element.














Me, finally getting to wear some of my winter weather gear.












Sunny and Big Red, both wearing their jackets.s












Making sleet angels.

New Post

Ok, I've waited long enough and nothing important has happened.
Time to make up a new post.
New year's resolutions, those are pretty popular!
I guess.
No, really, everybody's doing it.
Fine, fine, but I'm going to change it up.
Sure, inner monologue, do what you want.
Wait, I thought that was you...

JAmes HAzelton's List of Things I Resolve NOT to Do.

1. Get arrested
2. Be known on the channel four news as "Unknown Assailant"
3. Assail anyone.
4. Fail to destroy the "standard" system of measurements...Long live M.K.S.!!
5. End the year without some sort of facial hair configuration.
6. Unilaterally demilitarize the world and move the new cache of mass destroying weapons into my closet for safe keeping.
7. Stop the propagation of said weapons in order to alleviate the sudden and unprecedented rise of unexplained explosions on campus.
8. To not discontinue the cessation of not using multiple negatives in my speech.