A few things

...that don't deserve individual posts.

I made my vegan curry again tonight. The good news: I think I'm very close to getting it to the point of non-nasty (the point at which I'm no longer ashamed to be eating it). I'm not sure what I did differently, maybe adjusted the curry powder to cayenne ratio, more soymilk, and um....oh yeah, duh, the PCP. I laced it with PCP, that's it.

Speaking of things that are nasty, let's talk about old people. The other day, I was cycling back from school, fighting the southern wind (and my new PCP addiction), when I witnessed an older couple, slowly pedaling down the road, on what I assumed to be the bicycle equivalent of a stroll. Let me tell you, it was a-dor-ah-bleh. And, in that fleeting moment, I considered what it meant to age, and wondered whether or not I would find someone with whom I could cruise the blocks (on cruiser bikes, even), until that inevitable day when one of us would die, leaving the other to be concomitantly buried alive in a final gesture of committment.

But, in the next fleeting moment, I was cut off by a sorostitute in a Tahoe (because you can't spell Tahoe without a...), and soon returned to muttering expletives under the breath of the wind.

What a nice day that was.

Efficiency

...I haz it.

So I came across an interesting graphic today; and because I love to shove statistics in your eager little faces, I'll share it with you.

Here it is. [Click here for the actual link, with full-sized image.]

Now, what I get out of the graph is this:

The bicycle, basically, is the most efficient form of transportation. EVAR. And though it might not be the fastest, apparently it would only cost me about 16 whoppers to travel 350 miles.

Wait a sec, let's figure this out. These numbers are based on the whopper with cheese, a fat-bomb which will provide you with about 770 calories of energy (and more, if you're into mayo, but you're reading a vegan blog, so I'll assume not). Now, I'm not going to be eating the whopper; if anything, I'll be chowing down on the infamous BK veggie (which I'm pretty sure isn't completely vegan, even sans fromage). But anyway. The Veg only has about 420 Cals, which means that I'm going to have to eat about 29-30 of them on my 350 mile journey.

The question I'm eventually going to ask is, is this worth it?

Given that the BK veggie retails at about $2.99, the total cost of the trip would come to about $87.61, which doesn't sound too bad, but let's compare that with the car.

On your drive, assuming that you don't stop (at a friendly neighborhood Burger King!) to eat, the cost of the trip is going to be about the price of 13 gallons of gas. At an average of $2.00 a gallon, that comes out to be $26....$61 dollars less than riding a bike...

Gasp! What have I done?!

Curses, I meant to rig the math so that it turned out that the bike truly is the best of all possible worlds. But nay, dear reader, it seems that gasoline is once again cheaper than junk food.

I guess the moral of this story would have to be that bikes are still far more practical for short trips. And even though the car is more cost and time efficient over long drives, it's still to be avoided at all costs for those spurious trips about town. Also, for health reasons, you probably shouldn't eat at Burger King, even though they do have a pretty slick website.

EDIT: Wait! Wait! I've done it! Alright, here we go. If you repeat that calculation, but this time using ramen noodle packets (the oriental is the only flavor that's vegan and appealing, btw), it turns out that you'd only have to eat 65 packets at about 12 cents apiece. Bringing you, my hungry hungry cyclist, to a grand total of only $7.78 for the entire 350 miles. Haha! We win again!

EDIT: Apparently my favorite brand of Oriental Ramen Noodles are no longer vegan either...you'll have to find another food to power your vegan-biking adventures.

Vegan Recipe of the Day: A hastily thrown together curry recipe!

...because the roads are icy and I've been riding the bus!

Yeah, I know, I've let you all down. I'm not the ultra badass biker I make myself out to be. The thing is, though, that I don't want to die--which would surely happen if Lucy and I ventured out onto ice-slick streets.

So I've decided to do some cooking! And to present to you, my first, fully original, vegan recipe of the day! Mind you, if you're considering making this for yourself, that I had no idea what I was doing when I conceived of this dish. In other words, don't blame me when it (inevitably) turns out nasty.

Hastily Thrown Together Curry

A lovely, poorly-focused image of the carnage which is to ensue

Serves: two (or one, if you eat like I do)

As you probably remember, I alluded to this day in my last recipe, in which I stated that I was determined to do something with my mistakenly purchased curry powder. This, my friends, is the fruition of that dream: a slightly spicy curry which is probably nowhere near the real thing.

Here we go.

Ingredients:

• (1/2) yellow onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• (1/2) bag stirfry mix (it's what I had, okay? back off. Also, feel free to substitute real vegetables for this one)
• 1 tspn yellow curry powder
• 1 tspn powdered cayenne pepper
• (1/4) cup water
• (1/4) cup soy or coconut milk
• 1 tspn vegetable oil

First off, throw your roughly chopped onion, finely minced garlic, water, and oil into a pan to saute. (the oil is especially important, since the oily components of the garlic, supposedly very good for you, will not dissolve properly into water) When the house is filled with that distinctive vampire-killing aroma, you're going to add in the spices and the rest of the veg. Feel free to adjust the amount of cayenne to your liking, but for now, make it a bit spicier that you'd normally take it, since the soy/coconut milk we're adding in later will dilute a bit of that. Once the veg mixture is happy, mix in the soy milk, reduce heat, and let it simmer for about 10 minutes on low heat. When this step is done, bring it back up to the piping-hot serving temperature (by now your kitchen may be smelling like an indian brothel, this is a good sign) and serve the mixture over steamed rice (I added salt/pepper/paprika to my rice for a bit more flavor/color).

Now, before you taste it once, gag, and throw it out, remember that we made this adventure together, and it's probably your fault if it's nasty.

Thanks, and bon appetit.

Back from the abyss

...so here's a post about a raccoon.

Well, as you all know, I've just returned from an unplanned and unannounced hiatus from the blogging life. Since school's just begun again, I've needed to take some time to catch up on some all-important video gaming. But I'm back now, with some very exciting news.

I have a new friend. His(?) name is Rasputin.

In order to properly introduce my new animal companion, I need to begin with a tale of horror and redemption, which I will call: The tale of Horror and Redemption.

It all started last week, on a dark, moonlit night. I was taking out a bit of trash when I heard a strange rustling in the bin. Living in a college town, as I do, I thought nothing of it. To make myself heard, I inquired, "Um...is somebody dumpster diving in there?"

I received no reply.

As I inched closer to the trash bins, the noise abruptly stopped. Whoever, or whatever, was in the trash was aware of my presence. In a fit of bravery, I tossed the bag in and scurried (bravely) back to the apartment.

I soon finished crying (bravely) and set out once again with a flashlight, intent on discovering the true nature of this strange occurrence. I obtained this photo.


Okay, fine...I cowered in fear before taking a proper shot. The thing was growling at me, what was I supposed to do? So for the second shot, I waited out the length of the flash, ducked behind the wall of the enclosure (valiantly protecting myself from the imminent dose of rabies) and stuck my camera over the fence.


I knew the face of my enemy. I thought that the ordeal was over. I was wrong.

On a second night, I returned to the trash bins and heard the tell-tale rustling once again. This time, knowing exactly what I was dealing with, I tossed my trash in and scurried back to the apartment. A bit more crying, a search for my camera, and back I went, this time with peace offering in hand.

I tossed in an apple, (because I am a friend to all animals, and also aware of what a diet of leftover hot-n-ready's will do to your health) and again took a photo from behind the enclosure.


I once again found the raccoon, which, as previously alluded, is now named Rasputin, hungrily chomping on the bit of fresh fruit. The deed was done.

Rasputin and I are now BFF, even though I have yet to see him again, and if I were to see him again, he'd probably waste not a thought about gleefully giving me some kind of disease. We'll see how this friendship works out.

Gonna get me a leather hat!

...because I'm the kind of guy who wears leather hats.

Since new years I've been really bummed out, man. I mean, I had to pawn the wedding rings from my first and second marriages to pay the rent, my new girl, Jocelyn, dumped me, and I'm beginning to get a real strange rash. I'm startin to see why january is the month with the most suicides, cuz one of those is looken pretty good right now.

But just when I was feeling worst, I get this in the mail.

Holy crap. This is what I need.

You can see from the ad that (the guy who looks like) Vince Vaughn looks pretty sad, but that--on the inside--he knows that he's superbadass in his new leather hat. Check it out, man, they come in FOUR DIFFERENT STYLES. Ima get me one for every day of the week, brother!

Look at how cheap them shits are, too!

This is it. I'm writing the check, right now, and I'm gonna get to starting my brand new life. You know why I love leather so much? Because somebody hadta kill somethin for me to get it. Badass. When I get these in, I'm gonna go down to the mall with my wolf shirt on, throw on one of my many leather hats, and start reeling in the chicks in no-time. Whoo!

Gotta go, I can't send in my check and/or money order at the same time I'm typing!

Sincerely,

The guy who loves leather hats.



Seriously, I got this in the mail. Now, no offense to those of you who like leather hats--wait, yes. Yes, offense to you leather hat likers. Do you know who else likes to wear leather? Cows.

btw, if you haven't already, click on the wolf shirt link and read the comments. It's the best product ever invented.

Vegan Recipe of the Day - Black Bean Soup

...that's right, a proper recipe.

I felt myself become ambitious today. Finally done with classes, taking a break from work, and finally getting over my crack addiction, I was ready to cook. Today's recipe can also be found at this address. I'm usually not one for complicated meals, and this one is no exception; in fact, the rest of the recipes found on the aforementioned vegan site all look fairly easy.

Alright, let's get started. Here's the recipe, point blank.

Black Bean Soup

This hearty black bean soup is a perfect dish for a cold winter day.

vs.

Serves 2

• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 15-ounce cans of black beans, rinsed
• 1 ½ to 2 cups water
• ½ teaspoon chili powder
• ½ teaspoon paprika
• ½ teaspoon cayenne (optional)
• ½ teaspoon cumin

Saute the onions and minced garlic in a 1/4 cup of water in a nonstick saucepan. Once the onions have become translucent, place the onions and garlic in a large stockpot. Add the rinsed beans, water, and spices. Simmer over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Taste-test the soup after 20 minutes and remove from heat once the beans are cooked to your liking.

For a slightly different taste, add frozen or fresh vegetables such as chopped carrots, kale, or broccoli.

My Notes:

I whipped this up this morning, and I had a few things to mention, based on my own experience with the dish. First, absolutely use the optional cayenne pepper. I couldn't imagine this soup without it; it adds a bit more flavor to what could potentially be a pretty bland soup. Second, when you go to the store to buy cumin, don't come home with curry powder. I did. Because I'm dumb. I can't read labels properly. (Look for the next vegan recipe: Something using curry powder!) Lastly, the recipe calls for a whole onion. I would probably half that, unless you just have smaller onions than I do. I used one whole this morning and it came out a bit onion-heavy. Don't get me wrong, it was still amazingly good, but I think it could definitely do with just a half to three quarters of a mid-range onion.

Thanks again to the Compassionate Action for Animals website for the use of the recipe.

A Vegan Thanksgiving!

...or, "Why I don't want to do that anymore"

Last week we had the great tradition of Thanksgiving, a time when we can all get together with our families, eat ourselves into a coma, and celebrate the short period of time (one day) that we (Americans) weren't being bastards to the native American indians. We do this by eating what "they" say to be a close facsimile of the meal shared between the early American settlers, and those to whom the country rightly belonged. This is a holiday which is steeped in the sticky muck of false "tradition," making it a subconsciously obligatory meat-fest in the process.

It's about six in the morning right now and I'll be the first to admit that I'm too lazy to look up the statistics about how many turkeys and chickens and pigs are killed for this one day. I'll tell you, it's too many. For what purpose do we do this? I don't know, tradition? Bah. When we all realize that thanksgiving, christmas, the fourth of july, are all just normal days with someone's arbitrary cultural significance tacked on, we can start to move on and leave the shackles of the "holidays" behind us. Just because it happens to be a day which some people call, "Thanksgiving," don't let that be an excuse to blindly follow in the synchronized killing of millions of animals. Spend the day with your family, if you must, but don't ever let arbitrary cultural inventions rule your life.

To end on a slightly lighter note, here's the video of Sarah Palin, discussing Thanksgiving as, behind her, live turkeys are killed and drained of their blood. Enjoy.

Vegan recipe of the day!

Happy Rice!

Ingredients:
Rice
Happiness

Directions:
Cook rice, make rice happy, enjoy happy rice!

Vegan Recipe of the Day

This installment will teach you how to make bread.

It's simple, I know, but it's also a very good skill to have. Luckily, I've found an instructional video on the subject. Watch it here. And now I'm making bread in this way at least 5 times a week.

See? Easy as 3.14159. Have a nice day.

Vegan Recipe of the Day

This is a very special installment of the recipe of the day, and I'll tell you why.

This is the first time this year (except for the cold bits at the beginning) that I've been able to see my breath outside. I know, it's amazing. It's especially cold right now, about 50 degrees, and I had popped outside after finishing my astronomy homework when I noticed this.

I felt that I ought to celebrate this occasion with a bit of fine cuisine. So, without further ado, let the recipe begin.

Ramen Noodles and Coffee

Ingredients: Ramen noodles and coffee

Directions: First get some "oriental" flavored ramen, which happens to be the only kosher flavor that I know of. Then, crumble the noodles into a bowl...oh, you know how to do it. It's 3am and I'm tired. Enjoy.

I freakin told you!

Basically, there was a climate study done for the UN that found that the impact caused by the consumption and production of meat in the world was greater than that caused by ALL transportation exhaust. I think it's interesting, though, that the climate chief delivering these results is vegetarian. Conflict of interest or perspicacity on his part? I'll let you decide.

But, as a vegan cyclist, all I've got to say is, "Nyah!"

Here's a link to an article from the BBC on the subject.

Vegan Recipe of the Day!

Ingredients:
anything but meat, eggs, or dairy.

Instructions:
1. Prepare food as is customary.
2. Dig in.

mmm...tastes like freedom.