Chapter 21 - The Blizzard of '06

Two days ago, I said to myself, "Sure, it'll get cold, but no way is is going to snow. It's seventy degrees out! I'm wearing shorts!" Then today when I realized it was snowing I said to myself, "Sure, it's snowing, but it'll never stick." and now, with 4 inches of snow on the ground, I rethink my statements.

That's right, more snow than all of last year's snowfalls combined has fallen in the course of 24 hours. And it stuck! It's a christmas miracle!


Santa, finally back in his element.







oh, and on an unrelated note, everyone should watch this.

Charlie The Unicorn

Fun With Moving Pictures

If the movie isn't showing, that means that youtube.com is still down.

Chapter 0 - the prelude

Well, I finally got a digi-cam, so I can start to do this thing right. I'm just playing around with it right now, so I'm just going to post some preliminary pictures. You all get the opportunity of a behind the scenes peek of how I live my luxurious life.

Me, in a deliberately casual photo.














My extensive collection of lit-er-a-ture.




















Fine artwork.





















only the finest of foods, topped off with the finest in imported chile sauce.











That's right, and I expect Robin Leech here any day now...

THANXSTRAVAGANZA!!

This thanksgiving I'm going to be spending most of my time at the Wal, working hard for the money...so hard for the money... but with the amazing technological breakthroughs of today there's no reason why I can't still sit down for a nice thanksgiving dinner with a few friends.



As you can see we had quite a spread this year. Everybody brought a dish, which I think just makes it easier on everybody, and yes, I know that peeps are a little unorthodox, but George had some left over from easter and we just couldn't let those go to waste.

This is a very candid moment between some of my guests this year. George was arguing with Wizard-Frog about who was going to carve the tofurky, (we all know how those two can be, especially around the holidays) tensions were a bit heated until I just told everybody to skip the carving, grab a spoon, and dig in. Also shown are my good friends Todd Barry and Fred Armisen.

That's all from this year's party, I hope to see you next year. Happy Thanksgiving.

Chapter 3.141592653589793

...after saving yet another civilization from its once certain destruction, Ace Captain Commander James Hazelton returned to his modest oklahoma apartment. Once upon the threshold, stepping over numerous bodies of the ninjas sent to ambush him, he found comfort in sleep.

His unconscious form felt not the bulk of the space armor which had saved his life on so many occasions and for the first time in far too long, he dreamed.

He dreamt of many things, fleeting visions in the darkness of his mind's eye, but one vision persisted. A vision of things to come, of events which have yet come to pass, of a place many had called Tulsa...

Chaper 18.

When last we left our hero, he had been stranded in a horrifying parallel universe.
A universe in which the laws of physics remained intact, but the laws of grammar were nowhere to be found.
A universe in which the youth spends more money on car stereo equipment than they do on their educations.
A universe in which the concept of "burn more calories than you consume in order to lose weight" is nonexistent in the minds of the 300 lb gargantuans aimlessly roaming the aisles of wal-mart.
A universe in which, when you dress up as Julius Caesar for halloween, no one has a clue who you're talking about.
And the most horrifying of all...even the women have mullets.

Oh wait, no, nevermind. It's just Chickasha.

Chapter One.

...and that was the day that ramen noodles changed my life...forever.