Thursday, December 18, 2008

Not much doing...Part II

...or, why I had to drive to the coffee shop.

Here I am, dejected and ashamed, riding the velvety wings of a soy latte all the way to my latest post (this one). I must tell you, the weather here has been, and still is, terrible. For the last three days it's been nothing but a nightmarish parade of bike-endangering road conditions. Two of the days in question were marred by the combination of ice, snow, and subfreezing conditions, covering the road in a thin film of "throw-your-bike-out-from-under-your-feet" and "slam-your-head-against-the-road-in-incoming-traffic". Today, although the weather seems to be getting slightly more tolerable, was still covered in "rain-slick-pavement-of-death" and "oh-I'm-sorry-were-you-planning-on-seeing-for-more-than-three-feet-in-front-of-you?" fog. It's getting bad; I haven't seen the sun in four days.

So, here I am, midway through my caffeine and soy-based dairy-facsimile beverage, writing to you in desperation. I haven't biked for three days, dear reader, and it's tearing me up inside. For FSM's sake, I had to drive to the local hipster coffee shop (in which I happen to be writing). Drive. It's because I was so ashamed of this that I to parked about a block down the road, around the corner, coasted for the last block with my lights off, threw the camo-netting over the top of the car, dove for cover behind a lamppost when a hipster-looking person glanced my way, and crept, MGS style, around the corner, and into the safety of the shop. I considered even rolling up my pant legs, and walking in as if out of breath, but my subterfuge would be too quickly found out, and the hipster shunning which would ensue would be epic in its sadness.

Therefore, here I am. I don't even have anything especially vegan to say, other than maybe, "Soy latte's are pretty good," or, "you probably shouldn't eat animals, it's not good for the planet." But we all know that, by now.

Here I am. There you are. We're all here. Together.

Have fun. I'll try to get back on the bike soon.


Anonymous said...

Okay,I give. What do your acronyms stand for? Mobile ground station? Full screen mode? Que??

theBeatnik said...

In this case it was Metal Gear Solid: video game reference.